Kenshin and the Beanstalk
by Lara Chubb of Deephollow
Summary: Jack and the Beanstalk Rurouni Kenshin style! Plz R&R!


Hiya! I'm Lara Chubb and this is my first fic!

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin (sadly) and I don't own Jack and the Beanstalk.

Now on with the show!

There once lived a happy couple named Kenshin and Kaoru, they also had a cow named Yahiko.

Yahiko the Cow: Why do I have to be the cow?!

LC (Lara Chubb): (Glares at Yahiko the cow)

Yahiko the Cow: Um I mean…….. Moo.

LC: That's better.

Anyway their life was pretty good except for the fact that they didn't have indoor pluming and they were VERY poor.

Kaoru: Kenshin we are VERY poor, and I'm afraid we don't have enough money to eat anymore. So we are gonna have to sell Yahiko.

Kenshin: No! Not Yahiko he's my friend!!

Yahiko the Cow: Moo!

Kaoru: (blows fire out of her mouth) YOUR TAKING HIM TO TOWN TOMARROW AND THAT'S FINAL!!

Kenshin: Yes …. Mam…….

Kenshin dreaded the next day when he would have to sell his friend.

Kenshin: Don't worry Yahiko the Cow I'll find you a good home.

Yahiko the Cow: Mooo!

Then Kenshin and Yahiko the Cow drifted off to sleep.

Kenshin: Zzzzzzzzzz………..

Yahiko the Cow: Zzzzzzzz Moo Zzzzzzzzzz Moo.

Well no matter how much Kenshin dreaded it, the morning still came. And he and Yahiko the Cow headed off to town.

Kaoru: Bye Hun! Be safe!

Kenshin: Bye!

Yahiko the Cow: Mooo!

As Kenshin was walking down the road he came upon a weird old man.

Kenshin: Konichiwa weird old man.

Weird Old Man (WOM for short): Konichiwa sonny. Nice cow ya got there.

Yahiko the Cow: Mooo!

Kenshin: Why thank you, would you like to buy him?

WOM: Sure! But, I don't have any money.

Kenshin: Sorry WOM but you can't have him for free, my wife will get mad.

Kenshin begins to walk away.

WOM: But I do have these magic beans!

Kenshin: Magic?!

WOM: Yeeeeeeeessssssssss…….. maaaaaaagic…….

Kenshin: Well that does sound pretty neat…….

WOM: So do we have a deal?

Kenshin: Yes! I'll take the beans!

WOM: Good.

Kenshin: Wait! Will you promise to take care of him!?

WOM: Uh……… yeah…….suuure…..

Kenshin: Good!

Kenshin gives WOM Yahiko the Cow and WOM gives him the magic beans.

WOM: YAY COW!

Kenshin: YAY MAGIC!

Yahiko the Cow: MOO!

Then Kenshin thanked the old man, told Yahiko the Cow bye, and headed home.

Kenshin: Miss Kaoru is going to be very surprised that she is!

And boy was she ever…..

Kaoru: I CAN'T BELIVE YOU TRADED OUR COW FOR A COUPLE OF BEANS!!!

Kenshin: But they are _magic_ beans! .x

Kaoru: WHATEVER!! GOOD NIGHT!!

And with that she stormed off to bed. Kenshin gave a sigh and headed for the doghouse (which he was forced to sleep in).

Kenshin: Oro? We don't even have a dog?

LC: So!

Kenshin: …….Ooookaaaaaay, I'll just be going to sleep now that I will.

LC: Good.

Anyway…. The next morning Kenshin awoke to find that a giant beanstalk had grown in his yard.

Kenshin: AH! A giant beanstalk has grown in my yard!

Then Kenshin thought about climbing to the top.

Kenshin: Mabey I'll find something for Kaoru up there to make her forget about what I did!

Kenshin decided to go before Kaoru woke up so she could yell at him some more. So he made his way up the beanstalk.

Kenshin: Man this is taking long that it is!

As soon as he said that he reached the end of the beanstalk and jumped onto a cloud.

Kenshin: WOW! I didn't know you could jump on these things!

Kenshin began to hop across the path of clouds and before long he saw a giant castle.

Kenshin: WOW! A giant castle! I think I'll go inside!

But the doors were too large for him to open so he had to squeeze under them.

Kenshin: I'm too old for this…..

He then found himself in a giant living room.

Kenshin: Where do I go now?

A giant sign appears out of nowhere, and seems to be pointing to the top of a giant table.

Kenshin: How am I supposed to get up there!?

LC then uses her magic powers to transport him up to the top.

Kenshin: SWEET!

Suddenly Kenshin turns around to find a giant cage with a giant chicken inside (well actually just Sano in a chicken outfit….).

Sano the Chicken: Please get me out of here and I will make you VERY rich!

Kenshin: Really?

Sano the Chicken: YES! YES! Just get me out!!

Kenshin: Okay! .x

Kenshin opened the cage and carried Sano the Chicken out, and LC using her magic powers transported them to the ground.

Sano the Chicken: SWEET!

Kenshin: It is, isn't it?

Sano the Chicken: Ewwwwww you smell like a cow! I'm allergic to cows!

Kenshin: Well excuse me for living!

Sano the Chicken: AAAAAAAAAACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

And with that he popped out a huge golden egg.

Sano the Chicken: I hate it when that happens…….

Kenshin: WOW! You lay golden eggs!

Sano the Chicken: Yup! -

Suddenly the room began to shake violently.

Sano the Chicken: ACK! It's him! Quick under the couch!

The two of them darted under the couch just in time.

Hiko the Giant: Fee Fye Foe Fum I smell the blood of a Meji swordsmon!

Kenshin (thinking): AH! He smells me!

Hiko the Giant looks around but sees nothing.

Hiko the Giant: Oh well. Guess I was wrong.

Kenshin: Phew!

Hiko the Giant: I'll just check up on my chicken to see if he has anymore gold for me!

Sano the Chicken: Eep! Boy is he gonna get mad.

As soon as Hiko gets to the cage he sees that his chicken is no longer there.

Hiko the Giant: RAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR! HE'S GONE!

He then remembers that yelling is VERY bad for his blood pressure, so he tries to calm down.

Hiko the Giant: I need to calm down. I'll just listen to my harp and find him later.

Hiko goes to a nearby cabinet and pulls out a harp and sets it on the coffee table. Then lies down on the couch.

Hiko the Giant: PLAY!

Harp: Yes Sire!

The harp begins to play a tune and Hiko the Giant quickly falls asleep.

Kenshin: I want a closer look at that harp!

Sano the Chicken: You go and do that……. I'll just stay here……..

Sano stays under the couch while Kenshin is transported to the top of the coffee table to get a closer look. The harp is about as big as he is and golden, there is also a golden man attached to it. Kenshin looks at the man VERY closely. Then he realizes who it is……

Kenshin: JOSH GROBAN????

LC: Yep! . ( and sadly I don't own him either…..)

Josh the Harp then starts singing in Italian. 

Kenshin: Ooooooh…. Italian…… Kaoru will like you VERY much that she will!

So Kenshin grabs Josh the Harp and goes back to Sano the Chicken. But on the way Josh stopped singing and Hiko woke up. And sees Kenshin holding his harp with his chicken beside him.

Hiko the Giant: I KNEW I SMELLED YOU! NOW I SHALL GRIND YOUR BONES TO MAKE MY BREAD!!

K&S&J: Ewwwwwww……

Hiko then runs towards them with incredible speed.

K&S&J: EEP!

Kenshin grabs Sano and Josh and runs as fast as he can under the door and out side.

Hiko the Giant: YOU CAN'T ESCAPE MEEEEEEEEE!!

The beanstalk is now in sight and Kenshin knows he must get to it or his life may VERY well be over. He begins to run even faster and finally reaches the beanstalk.

Kenshin: Finally! I made it!

He goes down the beanstalk as fast as he can, when he reached the bottom he used one of his many sword moves to cut it down.

K&S&J: PHEW!

Meanwhile up in the clouds Hiko had gotten tired and decided to go back to his castle and have a jug of sake or two.

Hiko the Giant: I don't have a drinking problem……..

Back on the ground Kaoru was VERY pleased with the presents Kenshin had given her and had forgot all about being mad at him.

Kaoru: I really like this harp!

Josh the harp begins to sing.

Kaoru: Ooooooooh….. Italian…….

Kenshin: Well I'm very glad you like it that I do!

But unfortunately for him She fell in love with Josh the harp and a few years later they ran off together. But Kenshin didn't mind he just resurrected Tomoe with the dragonballs (don't own that either) and they got back together.

Kenshin: So no hard feelings about the killing thing………..

Tomoe: Of course not. .

And they lived happily ever after along with their golden egg laying chicken.

THE END

Well that was my fic!

I know….it stunk…….

Oh well……..

I promise to come up with some better ones!

Kenshin: YAY! TOMOE!

Tomoe: Please review!


End file.
